犀九利！！！
September 28th, 2007 by cl-hoe以下是我无意间听过最死缠烂打的对白，堪称史上最犀九利！！！
“小姐，请问有没有男朋友？”
“有！”
“有没有兴趣换男朋友？”
“没有！！”
“。。。。。有没有考虑过找多一个？”
“。。。”
认真禽兽。。。。披着人皮的色狼。
《04:48 psychosis》
September 18th, 2007 by cl-hoe据非正式统计，绝大多数的自杀事件都发生在凌晨4点48分，因为人们在这一时刻，精神错乱达到极致，是最容易自杀的时刻。迟睡的朋友请小心点。。。
如果你真的酱不好彩在这个时候觉得寂寞，空虚，冻，那就请你高唱Negaraku一百次，直到不觉得寂寞，空虚或者冻。请记住我爱我国家，国家也爱我。就酱！分享完毕。
It is not about shit, it is all about life.
September 16th, 2007 by cl-hoeLife is like a shit in a bowl, once you flush there is nothing left, unless a stink. Therefore it is not about the shape it is the matter of smell. Usually it won’t smell good, but don’t be too concern about the smell. Who care if you not the 1 suffer for the stink? Enjoy the time while you still stay in the bowl, do your best last dive into the hole, leaving with a beautiful goodbye, because there is no shit that is never been flushed.
Our Founding Fathers
September 3rd, 2007 by cl-hoe笑瓜我！！！
We truly have to thank our founding fathers for the 50 years of Independence of our country. Without them, I think we will be speaking better English and earning Cambridge degrees. But because of them, we are oh so fluent in Bahasa Malaysia, thanks to the ever changing education system which does not seem to stop. But they have made us what we are today and we have been looked up to by other nations who used to struggle like we once did.
Firstly, Tunku Abdul Rahman, our Father of Independence did the most difficult job , unifying the 3 major races in Malaysia to negotiate with the British. I think that was the hardest thing to do at that time because the British has this super big ego which makes the natives of the land that they invade low lives. Despite all of that, he managed to chase the British out of the country peacefully, without a war I tell you. So, he absolutely deserve to be glorified as our Father of Independence. Without him, we won’t be having dancing horses and laser shows in the Merdeka Stadium tonight.
After shoo-ing the British out of the country, there is a lot of development to do in the country. Hence we have Tun Razak as our Father Development to thank. Of course, thanks to him, the NEP was born. It was the era of post independence, development of the education system, and development of the economy for future complexities.
Tun Hussein Onn was our Father of Unity. Errm ok…so he carried on the policies of the previous leaders and promoted a lot of unity in the country. It was very crucial at that time to avoid another 13 May 1969. How is a nation going to grow if everybody is going to stand only for themselves and not united? How are we going to produce so many beautiful people if we don’t blend with each other? Unity is paramount towards building a powerful nation.
Then of course the longest serving PM in the country whom contributions are more significant ( for me at least) to the nation and the world. He did put our country on the road map and if it was not for him, people from the outside world would still be thinking we live on tree tops with a proper sanitation system. He glorified our country by making us the leader to 3rd world countries. He made sure we host International events like the F1 and Commonwealth Games. These events instantly gained Malaysia global recognition. It was during his administration that we our nation have a set vision and everybody really thrived towards it. Vision 2020 was everywhere and there’s no escape from this propaganda. There for the title "Father of Modernisation" was bestowed upon Tun Dr Mahathir for putting us on the global road map.
Unfortunately, there are still some stupid ignorant Americans whom still think we do not exist but Thailand and Singapore do. More so they are stupid enough to believe that we still live on tree tops with advanced sanitation system. So, the Americans should look into their education system because it is known that many high school kids can’t even point out their own country on an atlas!
And last but not the least, we have our very favorite Pak Lah.
Please choose the best answer for the question below
Pak Lah, Father of ____________.
1) all Datuks
2) Muhibbah
3) Fastest Chick hunter after your wife has passed away
4) Do whatever you want (You can build a castle in a kampung and get away with it)
5) Refurbishing government offices
6) Tidak apa
I seriously ran out of ideas.
Anyways, he will always be our Mr Nice Dude. Too nice that vision 2020 seems blurry these days.
Happy 50th Merdeka!
为何丢那星？！
August 17th, 2007 by cl-hoe丢那星，那是因为我们有一股无形的怒气，却又没有很好发泄的对象，于是怒气就堆积体内。任由怒气在体内绕乱，长久下去就会伤及五脏六腑，有见及此我们伟大的祖先就把坐落在贪狼星旁边，破军星下面，天杀孤星右边的“那星”当成了一个很好的发泄对象。
为了将先人的智慧继续流传下去我们不妨，
塞车时对着前面的车讲，“丢那星”！
看到电视机叫你sms投选XX明星时对着电话讲，“丢那星”！
online断线时对着Streamyz单大大声讲，“丢那星”！
国庆日时看着国旗小小声讲，“丢那星”！
五瑞兽 VS 六祥果
July 23rd, 2007 by cl-hoe传说，只要集何美丽的天鹅，勇敢的大雕，灵敏的狸子，凶猛的狮子，聪明的狒狒五种力量，然后对着你最讨厌的人大喊：
“鹅、雕、狸、狮、狒！”
万能的真神就会赐你力量，把你最讨厌的人毁灭。由于咒语有严重的毁灭性所以使用时请小心反噬的力量。
______________________________________________________________
接近失传的古代典籍中曾经有记载过，只要你一口气吃下代表富贵的甜柑，代表刚阳的香蕉，代表吉祥的吉子，代表礼教的梨子，代表幸福的菠萝，和代表团结的柚子。然后对着你的敌人默念：
“柑、蕉、吉、梨、萝、柚”
那么全能的真神就会赐你力量，连敌人都会跪在你面前惭愧。而且常念可保健康。
——————————————————————————————————————
配合手印可以发挥更强大的力量。
（而手印也非常简单，请握起你的拳头，然后伸出你的中指。）
大家好！！！
July 13th, 2007 by cl-hoe大家好，我系张立浩，今年二十五岁，
职业系 —— 成功人士。
双失
June 30th, 2007 by cl-hoe老子曰：双失者，无业失学者也。双失者，头戴黑方帽，身披黑袍，双目失神，面带呆笑。失业，失学谓之双失。
例子：
A Perfect Day
May 20th, 2007 by cl-hoe07:00 起床。
07:01 无所事事。
07:05 睡。
10:05 起床。
10:10 streamyz断线，刁！
10:12 睡。
13:10 起床。
13:13 冲凉。
14:45 吃。
15:00 Spiderman III
to be continue…
