浩 。孩子 。俱乐部

以下是我无意间听过最死缠烂打的对白，堪称史上最犀九利！！！

“小姐，请问有没有男朋友？”

“有！”

“有没有兴趣换男朋友？”

“没有！！”

“。。。。。有没有考虑过找多一个？”

“。。。”

认真禽兽。。。。披着人皮的色狼。

据非正式统计，绝大多数的自杀事件都发生在凌晨4点48分，因为人们在这一时刻，精神错乱达到极致，是最容易自杀的时刻。迟睡的朋友请小心点。。。

如果你真的酱不好彩在这个时候觉得寂寞，空虚，冻，那就请你高唱Negaraku一百次，直到不觉得寂寞，空虚或者冻。请记住我爱我国家，国家也爱我。就酱！分享完毕。

Life is like a shit in a bowl, once you flush there is nothing left, unless a stink. Therefore it is not about the shape it is the matter of smell. Usually it won’t smell good, but don’t be too concern about the smell. Who care if you not the 1 suffer for the stink? Enjoy the time while you still stay in the bowl, do your best last dive into the hole, leaving with a beautiful goodbye, because there is no shit that is never been flushed.

笑瓜我！！！

Our Founding Fathers

We truly have to thank our founding fathers for the 50 years of Independence of our country. Without them, I think we will be speaking better English and earning Cambridge degrees. But because of them, we are oh so fluent in Bahasa Malaysia, thanks to the ever changing education system which does not seem to stop. But they have made us what we are today and we have been looked up to by other nations who used to struggle like we once did.

Firstly, Tunku Abdul Rahman, our Father of Independence did the most difficult job , unifying the 3 major races in Malaysia to negotiate with the British. I think that was the hardest thing to do at that time because the British has this super big ego which makes the natives of the land that they invade low lives. Despite all of that, he managed to chase the British out of the country peacefully, without a war I tell you. So, he absolutely deserve to be glorified as our Father of Independence. Without him, we won’t be having dancing horses and laser shows in the Merdeka Stadium tonight.

After shoo-ing the British out of the country, there is a lot of development to do in the country. Hence we have Tun Razak as our Father Development to thank. Of course, thanks to him, the NEP was born. It was the era of post independence, development of the education system, and development of the economy for future complexities.

Tun Hussein Onn was our Father of Unity. Errm ok…so he carried on the policies of the previous leaders and promoted a lot of unity in the country. It was very crucial at that time to avoid another 13 May 1969. How is a nation going to grow if everybody is going to stand only for themselves and not united? How are we going to produce so many beautiful people if we don’t blend with each other? Unity is paramount towards building a powerful nation.

Then of course the longest serving PM in the country whom contributions are more significant ( for me at least) to the nation and the world. He did put our country on the road map and if it was not for him, people from the outside world would still be thinking we live on tree tops with a proper sanitation system. He glorified our country by making us the leader to 3rd world countries. He made sure we host International events like the F1 and Commonwealth Games. These events instantly gained Malaysia global recognition. It was during his administration that we our nation have a set vision and everybody really thrived towards it. Vision 2020 was everywhere and there’s no escape from this propaganda. There for the title "Father of Modernisation" was bestowed upon Tun Dr Mahathir for putting us on the global road map.
Unfortunately, there are still some stupid ignorant Americans whom still think we do not exist but Thailand and Singapore do. More so they are stupid enough to believe that we still live on tree tops with advanced sanitation system. So, the Americans should look into their education system because it is known that many high school kids can’t even point out their own country on an atlas!

And last but not the least, we have our very favorite Pak Lah.
Please choose the best answer for the question below

Pak Lah, Father of ____________.

1) all Datuks
2) Muhibbah
3) Fastest Chick hunter after your wife has passed away
4) Do whatever you want (You can build a castle in a kampung and get away with it)
5) Refurbishing government offices
6) Tidak apa

I seriously ran out of ideas.

Anyways, he will always be our Mr Nice Dude. Too nice that vision 2020 seems blurry these days.

Happy 50th Merdeka!